An SEO’s Love Story – The Liver Transplant Adventure
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An SEO’s Love Story – The Liver Transplant Adventure
This post is part of the ongoing struggle that my life partner, Geri and I have been living with since late November 2009. I have been carrying updates of her life and death struggle with liver disease and its related complications.
We have now come to the point in managing Geri’s illness to see if she qualifies for a transplant. Her appointment will allow us to finally get an accurate assessment of her health, or that’s how I see it. Geri, has a completely different perspective. And rightly so, she is the one that is facing death.
She caught me off guard today when she brought it up in conversation. We were in transit while making our rounds to the doctor’s offices when she announced that she would likely be in a bad mood tomorrow. This abrupt statement quickly turned a casual conversation into one of a much more serious tenor. She quipped “ I don’t want to hearing I’m dying again.”
You see Geri’s new primary care physician had recently informed us that she has three months to live and that didn’t go over well at all. After hearing this, Geri lamented “It will take me a month to get back to denial.” One thing is for sure she is critically ill, she’s not interested in dying, and she not real thrilled about the concept of a liver transplant.
It was painfully obvious that she had been thinking about this appointment and how she might react for some time now. I tried to brighten her spirits by reminding her that this was just the evaluation appointment. I reminded her that the reality check will not occur until the second appointment. I was attempting to enter some logic into the cauldron of our emotions.
The reality was that this will not likely be the big news appointment I reasoned that worry should be for another day. It didn’t seem to me to be worth wasting our energy on this appointment. Geri, parroted my suggestion and noted that this idea did make sense. But since she’s the one dying, she would reserve the right to be in a bad mood.
Well, it can’t be said that I wasn’t warned. Such are our exchanges. Sometimes we laugh and sometimes we cry… And sometimes we are brutally honest.
Since Geri was upfront with me I returned the favor. I mentioned that I would like to film her end of life story. I also sought permission ask the Transplant Center if I could film there. She didn’t much like the idea.
That’s when I reminded her that she would not ever need to see it. I pointed out to her it could be considered to be just like this blog. You see, I have been writing about our struggles for months. But Geri hasn’t visited the blog since her illness forced her into the hospital. She doesn’t want to read that she’s dying and I can understand that.
My regret is that she is missing the expression of my love and devotion for her.
It certainly has been great therapy for me. But I’m not so sure that I would see it that way if I were in Geri’s place.
Update 06/02/2010: It is now over 6 months since Geri became critically ill. I can happily report that she is done extremely well. She still needs a new liver but her overall health has improved dramatically. We are also working our way through the process of getting a transplant.
Lately, she has been doing test to determine if she is healthy enough for the surgery. We still have more tests to be completed. Fortunately, we live in Tucson and the University of Arizona Medical Center is a world leader in transplants. Who knew this would come in handy! I have actually been at the hospital and witnessed organs coming into the building for transplants. I never though it would impact me like this.
Update 06/03/2011: Geri has decided that she did not want a transplant. This is kinda ok as the state of Arizona has stopped paying for them. She simply wasn’t ready to die and has chosen to live and is doing much better than could be expected. We are both very grateful for this.
What say you?
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I feel for you in your situation. I’m sorry to hear this and I’ll be praying for Geri. I guess you can only respect her decision not to do anything related to her dying and the best you can do is to be there for her.
Sorry to hear this. I will be praying for Geri. Sure love and devotion are the greatest therapy that one can get. The best you can do is be there for her during her times of need, as the first commenter has stated.
Thank you so very much!
I am so sorry to hear of your situation. I was just transplanted a few months ago and can empathize with your difficult situation. I also wrote and chronicled my situation while I was sick and I think it was very cathartic. I also found that it was helpful to others who were going through similar experiences. If I can help in any way or if you need to talk, please email me. I understand how hard it is on a caregiver so if you would like to speak to my wife, please let me know. Good luck and G-d bless.
Thank you so very much
Your story is both touching and inspiring. I sincerely hope everything will go well for the both of you and I promise to remember 2 fighters in my prayers
She is so very strong in character to be able to deal with the situation like that. Also very fortunate to have you by her side. I’m sure everything will go well for you people.
Admin: Thanks for he kind words.
I am glad to hear that the doctor who said she had 3 months to live was wrong and that she is doing much better than expected! It’s nice that you are there for her and that she has someone to lean on at this time in her life. Best wishes to both of you and getting through this!
Thanks!